Cullen Light Switch
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peanut
itunes
edward cullen
boxers
police
telitubie
horse
the girl next door
godzilla
naked
reason
heart break
sanitizer
soda
brush
pen
oops
britney spears
hotmail
horny
monday
bash
gang bang
loser
bee
stop light
meeep meeep vroom
soccer
letter
resttart
flood
home
remote
wall
poke
god
feeling
nasty
ketchup
switch
change
cupboard
cat
boss
I was getting chased by the police while listening to "Oops, I Did It Again" by Britney Spears, I felt a nasty feeling when I ran a stop light and almost ran over a cat. I swerved and hit a wall, which made me think about telitubies for some reason. I crawled out of my car, my hearing must have been messed up, because I kept hearing "meep meep vroom". The police started to shoot at me, but they were stomped on by Godzilla. I was about to get stomped on, but I did what my boss told me to do in this situation, I stripped naked. Godzilla ran away, which caused ketchup to fall from the sky. I put my boxers on, when I felt someone poke my shoulder, it was none other than Edward Cullen.
"You're making me feel very horny right now, change into some clothes, loser," he said. I felt my heart break, because he just called me a loser. I started to go home, but he stopped me, giving me a peanut and some hand sanitizer.
"Oh my God, thank you Mr. Cullen!" I said with joy.
"No problem, but remember to come over on Monday, so we can watch 'The Girl Next Door', he said. I agreed, so he got on his horse and went to the iTunes store. I saw a remote with a switch on it, I picked it up and pressed the switch, which caused a large flood to sweep me away. The flood stopped, and I found myself surrounded by gang bangers. They started throwing soccer balls at me, but a swarm of bees came, allowing me to escape. I realized I was stranded on an island, where there was a cupboard. I saw a soda and a hair brush on it, and a laptop with hotmail on it. The gang bangers started to come after me, so I quickly e-mailed a letter to Edward Cullen, asking for help. The gang bangers started to bash me around, one even wrote on me with a pen. Thankfully, Edward came on his trusty horse, and beat the shit out of the gang bangers. I got on the horse.
"Thanks again Mr. Cullen!" I said.
"No problem. Now, let's go watch every 'Twilight' movie ever made!" he said.
"But I hate 'Twilight'!" I shouted.
"Too bad, bitch, you'll be watching every single movie, and when we're done, we'll restart it again and again!" He started to make an evil laugh as we rode off into the sunset...
I think I have too much time on my hands right now...
